Hi Balanced Beauties!
Over the last seven years, I’ve been asked countless times on relationship advice, and about my own relationship with Christian. I often get “What’s your secret to a relationship like yours?” First, as much as our relationship is beyond wonderful, it is imperfectly perfect (I got this from “This is US”) HA. But it is the truth!
However, Christian and I have both experienced relationships in the past where all the things we as individual’s value, were not valued. I think the real “secret” to our relationship is that we both come from a past where we learned a lot. We found out what we want in a relationship and what we don’t want in a relationship. From day one, we came into this relationship with every guard down, with every skeleton in the closet laid out and were unapologetically ourselves and in fact, our best selves.
Christian was my absolute best friend in HS. We told each other things that even our significant others at the time didn’t know. We had a trust and friendship like no other, which is also on our side. We came into this relationship knowing every mistake, every flaw, and knowing all of the secrets to our past.
Christian and I accepted each other fully from the day we kissed. There wasn’t one thing that we felt we needed to “change” about one another. Of course, yes, there are things personally we work on to be a better friend and to be a better husband/wife. But truly, the love we share is healthy because we complement each other. It helps that we both share very similar values which include tight/close relationships with family, open communication, honesty, loyalty and RESPECT! Again, we have both been in relationships where there was dishonesty, disrespect and always felt fear. Although I think it takes a certain type of couple to overcome those instances, it certainly was not in both Christian and I’s nature to settle for love like that.
What we wanted long term was something like a breath of fresh air, something that screamed longevity, something that brought total peace to our minds.
From personal experience, you can LOVE someone with all your heart, and they still may not be meant for you. As I’ve shared in my previous post, I have truly loved a lot of people in my life (not just infatuation love). And I know this because I think with true love comes true sacrifice and with true love comes genuinely wanting happiness for the other person, despite the hurt around or in the relationship. However, although I’ve experienced so many types of love, I’ve always yearned for an easy love, something that wasn’t so hard, and something that I didn’t need to fix. It takes a lot of courage for someone to break a hard love, something you’re constantly fighting for, but I knew that I wasn’t settling for less than I deserved. After all, life is too short to settle for less, and life isn’t easy in any way, shape, or form as most of you know. And thus, I believe your partner should complement you in the sense where they make life a little easier, right?
So, in answer to your question, there are all types of good love out there! I know that both Christian and I have those personalities that wanted to wait for that good, and healthy love. Yes, we still fight (in fact sometimes I must find something to fight about because a fight from time to time is healthy in my opinion ;-)). And yes, we still have those moments/days where we wake up and we are like…”NOT TODAY HUNNY!” But what truly matters and has succeeded in our relationship was knowing that we didn’t have to question the past, present or future together. Also, knowing that your partner loves you and would do absolutely anything and everything for you. We put each other first, and that’s what we have done for the last 7 years (actually longer, if you count the years that we were BFF’s 😉 )
For me, life is nothing without good relationships and healthy love. In my opinion, good love heals the soul. I’ve always lived by the quote that says “You are the company you keep, so keep good company”. Surround yourself with people and love that enables you to grow, thrive and become a better you.
Love is a beautiful thing, but healthy love conquers all. So, wait for it and do not settle just because you’ve been in a relationship for a certain number of years and you are afraid. I promise you, all the questions you have will be answered when your true person comes along. <3
The most comfy sweater (or sweater dress): RUNS BIG! I am a size XS in this Free People Ottoman
The best ‘Marlo’ tan Over The Knee Boots. These boots were seriously made for walking because they are my fav over the knee boot and so comfortable. They run true to size and I am a 7 1/2.