Hi Balanced Beauties!
I am so happy to finally write this post! It has been a long time coming after the last 7 weeks post baby. In this post, I am going to address two topics; postpartum and having two kids under two!
I am going to start off by saying that it is true when people say, every pregnancy is different, every baby is different, and every postpartum experience is different. Personally, although physically this postpartum experience has been an easy recovery, emotionally it has been a little more of an adjustment (comparing with Brooklyn) for several reasons. For me, I found it was easier to emotionally adjust to one baby. We had the time to give everything to Brooklyn and only Brooklyn. However, this time around, I found it was more challenging for me to learn how to balance my time between two babies. It has forced me to figure out how to give everything I have to both of my girls, equally. As a mom of two, it has created a whole new level of mom guilt. This is something I rarely felt or experienced with Brooklyn because I was able to give her all of me, at all times. With that being said, having two so close in age (16 months apart) who are both babies, and still require me in different ways, has been 95 percent of what I would consider my hardest battle postpartum. Add the hormones leveling out, exclusively nursing on demand 24/7 and if you’ve been following along on my instagram, multiple hospital visits with Saylor the first month of her life – It’s been a lot to juggle. I feel like postpartum isn’t always discussed thoroughly and I get why. I can understand why mom’s feel guilty talking about their struggles as a parent, because this is something I don’t always feel comfortable talking about as well. I tell myself that I am a mom of two healthy girls, get it together! Some people would only dream to be where I am in this situation. However, just because I feel beyond grateful and feel so blessed to be in this position (as I am sure most parents do), that doesn’t mean we are not allowed to struggle and express that. Often on instagram you see the moms who appear to do it all, and are so put together doing it. I am sure there are those moms that can do it all, and growing up I felt like that was my mom. However, just know that there is so much more that we don’t see and everyone has hard days.
Feelings are real and hormones are real, adjusting to big life changes is so real. For every new baby, you meet a new version of you as mother. I am learning about myself as a mom of two. Even when you plan it all out, and feel prepared, it all still takes time adjusting. I do want to be transparent when I say going from one to two was much more of an adjustment for me than having just one for me, especially emotionally.
Outside of the emotional balancing act, postpartum otherwise has been a breeze. Easy delivery and easy recovery for me, which I am so thankful for. After the first week, Saylor became a champ at nursing, which has also gone super smooth since she got the hang of it and developed a stronger latch. Every week gets a little easier for me as I navigate having two babies under two. I develop a bit more of a schedule and balance to ensure both Saylor and Brooklyn get, and feel, one hundred percent of me. Until then, it has been a lifesaver having so many people jumping in here or there to help with the Brooklyn. Whether it’s taking her outside to play for an hour, or taking her for a walk or to the store to get out. I am someone that has a very hard time accepting help with my kids. Partly because I am currently a SAHM, and I believe that I can do it all. And although I can make it work, it is not fair or ideal to keep Brooklyn inside the house all day while we are still in the midst of getting a schedule together with a newborn, running on fumes, and managing with little to no sleep! I’ve finally surrendered to having my mom, sisters, and husband on his lunch breaks, help me as much as possible, accepting that this very chaotic time is so temporary, and will soon pass. I also know these are the days that I will miss so much, so taking a step back to accept what feels like a very overwhelming time, will soon be missed. This is my mental approach through battling these adjustments.
Two Under Two
The amount of questions that came in regarding having two under two OR having two kids in general has been tremendous. I’ve been a little more quiet on social media, which can give you an idea of how busy it’s been for us! Although it has been so beautifully busy, I can not deny that again, this was a big adjustment for me. Saylor is a wonderful newborn, and Brooklyn is such a good toddler, so in that sense, there hasn’t been any challenge in that department. Like I mentioned before, I think it has just been harder for me to create a schedule/find balance in our day to day schedule. I feel like having a newborn is so much easier than the first time around, however, for me it is the thought of learning how to balance my time, during a period of life where it is nearly impossible to create such a routine. I already know that there is hardly a routine in that first two to three months of a newborn’s life (4th trimester). However, that lack of routine was so much easier when it was only one baby. In this case, I feel a little more all over the place, trying to keep Brooklyn as scheduled as possible, while at the same time having to be on demand for Saylor. It feels like a lot right now, and I am told by other moms in a similar situation that it will be hard for a year or two having two kids so close in age. However, I am also told that when it balances out, it becomes much easier as they will be best friends and entertain one another.
All of the temporary challenges aside, having two babies before the age of 30 has been a dream of mine. Although the days are long, I do feel like this is a dream. We have been very blessed with two amazing babies, who have made us so happy. Brooklyn, being only 18 months old, has been nothing short of amazing with Saylor. She asks for her “baby” and “LoLo” every 15 minutes and kisses her feet and head all day long. She is gentle and so sweet with her. There has been very little, to almost no adjustment for Brooklyn. She looks at Saylor as her baby doll, and that feeling of being envious or the horror stories you hear of kids resenting their siblings hasn’t developed (yet) with her (fingers crossed). From the day we brought Saylor home, Brooklyn has included her in our family and even tells us to kiss Saylor right after we kiss Brooklyn. She is so inclusive and has been so acceptive during this huge family transition. As far as nursing goes, Brooklyn seems to have already forgot she was once nursing. She knows the baby eats mommy’s milk and does not care when I nurse Saylor (which was one of my fears) since I nursed Brooklyn for 13 months. This was also a huge win.
We are almost two months in and I have to say that although we have met some “transitioning” moments, I feel like I had Saylor yesterday. Writing this post made me realize how fast this all is going, despite days and moments feeling longer at times. This is postpartum, and this is two under two. Despite everything, we are so lucky and grateful for our two girls who melt our hearts every single day.
I’d love to hear from all the mamas with two kids. What was your experience bringing your second into the world? Did you experience some serious mom guilt? How quick did you adjust? I am also curious to hear from the mamas with 3 or more kids too. Does this happen with each new addition to the family?
Thank you all so much for reading more parts of our story and journey as now a family of 4. As always, it is the best connecting with you all. Thanks for allowing me to share so much of my life on here. Always feel free to DM me on instagram to chat more. I am always happy to chat with mamas, as so many instagram mama friends have always been so open to talking to me!
Lastly, as promised, I wanted to share more about this gorgeous shawl from G.H.Hurt & Son. G.H.Hurt & Son sent Saylor this beautiful white and traditional lace knitwear shawl which we have been using since the day she was born. This shawl could be used as a blanket, swaddle or in a nursery. It is so soft and lightweight.
Their company is based in the city of Nottingham in the UK. They also make unique and luxury scarves for men and women, baby shawls and women’s wraps. Head over to G.H.Hurt & Son’s website or their instagram to browse or shop!